Lately, I catch myself daydreaming of this version of life that I’ve created in my mind, a world where I’m not “stuck” in school with my head in the books but out with the love of my life, driving in a car through fields of green, without a destination, or surrounded by friends jumping off cliffs or something. Where I’m not struck by loneliness or confusion, but totally amped about everything and living life to the fullest.
This daydream hasn’t come true quite yet.
As I’ve been transitioning into a new phase of life, without an established sense of belonging or promise of companionship, I’m a little restless to say the least. Sometimes it all catches up to me.
After a really long day at school last week, I walked into my work and my boss could tell I was close to collapsing. She politely asked how I was doing and I kinda sighed, unable to even answer. I was distraught in my answer, explaining how lost I was, and how plans weren’t coming together the way I thought they would. She responded back with a surprising revelation. Perfect is boring.
Huh, isn’t the perfect life what we chase after day in and day out? I mean, even just the idea of finally being content, whether it be in a place we think we should be or having a hand to hold, is putting expectations on ourselves to move life faster along than maybe God has planned. But even if we had everything we wanted, would we still be restless thinking we needed something else to make us happy?
Perfection is unattainable. Even the most seemingly heaven-like relationships have their rough patches, the most beautiful islands, their storms, and incredible jobs, their bad days. Maybe its time to go along with the bumps and bruises, the changes in the tide, and bleeding hearts. It’s in these moments of dissatisfaction that I am reminded of my brokenness and straight-up humanity. Life is an adventure, not clean cut, but a little messy and raw.
Chasing after paradise may be dreamy and romantic, but always remember that life is happening no, no matter what stage you are in. Take risks! Fail! Succeed! Know that it may not always go as you planned, but who knows what the rest of their life is gonna look like anyways?
Dream big and wide and far. If you hit a wall, turn around and keep moving! You never know when the pieces will start to fit together and the picture will become more clear. Until then, smile big, cry when you need to, and keep your head up.
Don’t wait, life is happening right now.