Well hello again.
I know, I’ve been quiet for a while.
I stopped writing about two months ago because I found myself in a rut, feeling uninspired, tired of life, sitting in the empty parts, and sick of the silence. I got busy with the motions of leaving school, starting a job, helping family out and sleeping, lots of it. TBH I stopped spending as much time with God; a couple different things happened and it seemed like the life got sucked out of me.
Until this morning.
I was on a hike with a friend just enjoying life and it hit me. I got home and immediately was bored. I ran a couple errands, made granola and then burned it. Checked my phone to see if I got any notifications or text messages. Then gave up.
Something I find I’m saying a lot lately as school is out for summer and I miss my friends, immediate gratification, and adventure. I have entered into a real world of work, rest, play, and work again. I complained a lot about it for some reason I can’t come up with now.
The minute I start to complain about being bored, lonely, or whatever, I am actually saying that this life God gave me isn’t good enough. That the trials I’m going through are too much and happiness is just a race I can’t finish.
But, joy is a condition not a feeling.
A pastor at my church last Sunday preached about joy, and the necessity of it to “feel” the presence of God. Because joy is essentially saying “I am satisfied in what you have created me to be, what I am doing, and what I have” to the Creator.
If I’m being honest, way to often do I complain about my state, when I’m with family for too long-I miss my friends, when I’m with friends-I get tired and need to be alone, when I’m alone-I desire companionship.
And when life seems to be closing in on me, I scrape by underneath it.
Joy is something that isn’t preached by our high-demand, fast pace, generation that pushes taking and taking as much as you can to feel good about yourself.
Instead, joy says that life is full and complete, something that I know I can only find in God. In the beauty of His creation, the running creek despite the California drought, the customer that laughs at your dumb joke, the dance parties after-hours when you close late and have loads of dishes to do. It’s the smile through the pain that comes from inside, screaming at the world “you can’t take me!”
It’s smiling like an idiot and people asking why, laughing when you mess up, and moving on.
So laugh, dance, be a freaking weirdo, and enjoy life as it comes. Because I’m gonna let you in on a secret: the hard stuff – the pain- will come and go, it’s what you do through it that makes life worth living.
You got this.
Sincerely, Brain Fuzz