I can’t fill you.

But you empty so fast.

I want you to leave me alone.

But I can’t get enough of you.

You always seem to slip through my fingers, but then become too much to hold all at once.

Excess of you and the weight of the world starts to be felt, minutes take centuries, and the night lingers on.

I find you to be a trigger, you see. When I’m rushing out of my car to get to class and wishing I had more of you and other days when I’m alone on my couch I wish you to go away and stop bothering me!

“please, slow down. just breathe.”

That’s what they tell me, but how can I slow down when you keep speeding up?

What can I do to control you?

oh, I can’t.

So I guess I’ll slow my self, and let you get away. I’ll fill you with the words that can’t escape my mind, and unravel before me bit by bit.

Today, time, you won. I let you trigger me to become shaken, anxious with how much but how so little I had of you today. When I sat alone for some time, and the clock ticked away until I finally could get up.

some days feel like mist and others like heaving brick by boring brick. 

 

one day at a time,

one breath at a time,

only if time were mine to hold.

 

but

Time, you too have a master; for God holds you, He is your trigger!

All that lives and moves has its being in Him, not you.

“He has made everything beautiful in it’s time” (eccl. 3:11)

 

so time, you too are shaky like me. We can hold hands, hoping to see it through.

 

then all is but a breath, like vapors we live…so live out and don’t let time stop you. 

 

time to begin.

 

 

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